Relationships
Everyone knows it's not easy maintaining a relationship. Finding the right guy/gal for you. Well.....that's why I'm here. To give you advice, tips and whatnot.
15 Things You Should Never Do for a Healthy Relationship
1. Putting Effort
This is something that usually happens when we get too comfortable with someone - you simply stop trying. You stop putting time, effort and thoughts into their birthday, anniversaries and romantic dates. You stop giving compliments and just can't stop treating them like there someone special - of course, it's not intentional, we just forget to do these small, simple things that mean more than others. You shouldn't stop impressing them - thou you shouldn't overdo it either - or showing them how you loved them or even making them feel good about themselves. Relationships take a lot of work, so even if just the 1 person just stop working on or even trying to find a way to enriches their relationship it would inevitably crash, explode and then burn.
2. Taking shots at each other
Ever watch any of those HGTV shows that combines real estate and married couples? A lot of those time these couples are extremely to each other, but if you don't pay any attention you could possibly miss it. They take the worst digs at each other, but because their laughing, observers take it as a joke. They could have had a teasing fit about how they could have married rich or how the other settles of another or one unable to finish anything. Getting a go at each other is a terrible thing to do in any relationship.You shouldn't humiliate your insignificant other, whether in a group/crowd of people or only the 2 of you, just to put them down.
3. Lose who you really are
In a lot of relationships, a lot of people lose who they are. The end up picking up their insignificant others, hobbies, habits, taste, style, interest etc., that they end up forgetting who they are. It awesome to be able to share the same things with each other - 'cos there's nothing better than to be able to share the things you love with the person you love - but it's a different thing to forget who you are as an individual. If you feel at a loss without the other, I'm sorry to tell you this but you are in serious trouble. No matter what you should be able to always be yourself and feel comfortable and no matter how much you love that person, you should always make sure you cherish your independence by being your self.
4. Cheating
Um, there's no explanation or exception. This should be the most obvious. You shouldn't intentionally hurt the person your with, it's a big no-no.
5. Forget about your friends.
We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and you enter the puppy love stage where you always want to see them, talk to them, or be talking about them. You forget about all of your other priorities and responsibilities because you’re so caught up with this one person. But you should never, ever forget about your friends. Your friends were there first. They stood by your side longer than this person, and there’s a good chance they’ll still be by your side long after they are gone. Always make time for the other important people in your life. Don’t be that person who breaks up with their boyfriend and then is suddenly always around. There should be a balance.
6. Compare them.
Even if you’ve been in relationships before, been in love before, fucked tons of people before, you should never compare the person right in front of you with anyone else. Don’t compare your girlfriend to some hot girl at the bar, or your boyfriend to the jacked guy at the gym. No one likes to feel like they’re in competition with someone they don’t even know. You’ll do nothing but make them feel bad about themselves and then they will resent you for it.
7. Forget about them.
We all get sidetracked, we all have friends and family we make time for, we all have jobs that demand our attention. We may be out at the bar with our significant other but spend the majority of the time talking to other people. We might be out somewhere and forget to answer their text. But nothing hurts more in a relationship than being forgotten about, and worse, ignored. Don’t be completely unaware of their presence. It’ll only make them that much more touchy when it comes to you talking to other people. If you care about them, you shouldn’t be forgetting that they’re there.
8. Dismiss any problems.
Even worse is not taking problems seriously with your boy/girlfriend. If they voice their concerns, just listen. Hear their point of view on things and try to come up together with a resolution. Don’t wave it away and wait for it to blow over because it’ll never actually go away, it would just be at the dark corner, waiting for the right time to come back. In fact, those little problems that could’ve been addressed and nipped in the bud will just grow into a tangled, complicated mess and who wants that.
9. Put everything/everyone else first.
When you love someone, that person is usually (and should be) a priority in your life. Just as you become an important priority in theirs. You expect the significance of one another to be reciprocated. But it can be hard watching this important person put other things in front of you. When they hear of something exciting, they call their best friend first. When they find a cool place to go out, they tell their brother. When a crazy story happens to them, they text it in their group chat. They choose their friend’s house party over your sister’s birthday party. You don’t want to just feel important, you want to know you’re important.
10. Snoop.
Snooping is something we all do. We peak at their phone when it’s left open, we go through a mysterious drawer when they leave the room. But snooping can only lead to problems and is something you don't want to end up in. You either get caught, or you’ll find something you don’t want to find. But one thing will always happen: you will come across something that you don’t understand so you misinterpret it, your imagination runs wild, you end up jumping to conclusions and assuming things and in the end, it turns into a fight that never should’ve happened in the first place.
11. Try to change who they are.
You either accept them or leave. That’s it.Simple. There's nothing to it. You should never try to turn someone into what they’re not just to fit the mould of your ideal mate. That my friends don’t exist. So you accept them for who they are or keep walking and probably never meet a guy like him again (especially if comes close to a perfect guy - who doesn't exist).
12. Desensitise yourself to them.
After being with someone for a long time, this can happen real easily. You aren’t as moved when they cry. You don’t feel bad calling them horrible names. You take shots below the belt during minor arguments. You don’t care if they find out something that'll upset or harm them. Your sensitivity to them and their feelings dissipates, they no longer there anymore. And that will never work well in a relationship.
13. Bring up the past.
This is a major NO-NO in an argument. When in a relationship, you should only be focusing on the present, the now with your partner. No matter how brutal a fight might get, you should never bring up an event from the past - do so and its bye - bye to your relationship and you don't want that. You have to just leave it behind, nothing good is going to come out of it. If your boyfriend cheated on you, if your girlfriend did something fucked up that hurt you at one point, you have absolutely no right to bring it up again and use it as ammunition. You have to leave the past where it belongs.There's a reason why it said to not mess or bring anything from the past. If you forgive them for something and you both decide to move on, that means no bringing it back up, no matter how well it might work in your favour at that moment.
14. Holding a grudge/keeping score.
Another thing similar to bringing up the past is holding grudges against each other. Someone in a couple might feel justified to do something immoral just because their boyfriend did something similar before. Or they’ll refuse to do something super special for their birthday just because the other didn’t do it for them this year. There is no such thing as keeping score in a relationship. You cannot base your actions and decisions on past occurrences.
15. Not support them.
You should always have your partner’s back, no matter what. Never bring or shatter down their dreams or goals, no matter how far-fetched or unrealistic they may or can be. You should always be there for them, even if they make a stupid decision - after all, we're just humans, and we make mistakes, even really stupid ones - to help pick them up, attend to them, heal their wounds and support them for whatever they need. You shouldn’t mock them for being wrong. You should never ever make them feel worse about their failings.To always be their rock, their unwavering support system, no matter the situation.
15 Things You Should Never Do for a Healthy Relationship
1. Putting Effort
This is something that usually happens when we get too comfortable with someone - you simply stop trying. You stop putting time, effort and thoughts into their birthday, anniversaries and romantic dates. You stop giving compliments and just can't stop treating them like there someone special - of course, it's not intentional, we just forget to do these small, simple things that mean more than others. You shouldn't stop impressing them - thou you shouldn't overdo it either - or showing them how you loved them or even making them feel good about themselves. Relationships take a lot of work, so even if just the 1 person just stop working on or even trying to find a way to enriches their relationship it would inevitably crash, explode and then burn.
2. Taking shots at each other
Ever watch any of those HGTV shows that combines real estate and married couples? A lot of those time these couples are extremely to each other, but if you don't pay any attention you could possibly miss it. They take the worst digs at each other, but because their laughing, observers take it as a joke. They could have had a teasing fit about how they could have married rich or how the other settles of another or one unable to finish anything. Getting a go at each other is a terrible thing to do in any relationship.You shouldn't humiliate your insignificant other, whether in a group/crowd of people or only the 2 of you, just to put them down.
3. Lose who you really are
In a lot of relationships, a lot of people lose who they are. The end up picking up their insignificant others, hobbies, habits, taste, style, interest etc., that they end up forgetting who they are. It awesome to be able to share the same things with each other - 'cos there's nothing better than to be able to share the things you love with the person you love - but it's a different thing to forget who you are as an individual. If you feel at a loss without the other, I'm sorry to tell you this but you are in serious trouble. No matter what you should be able to always be yourself and feel comfortable and no matter how much you love that person, you should always make sure you cherish your independence by being your self.
4. Cheating
Um, there's no explanation or exception. This should be the most obvious. You shouldn't intentionally hurt the person your with, it's a big no-no.
5. Forget about your friends.
We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and you enter the puppy love stage where you always want to see them, talk to them, or be talking about them. You forget about all of your other priorities and responsibilities because you’re so caught up with this one person. But you should never, ever forget about your friends. Your friends were there first. They stood by your side longer than this person, and there’s a good chance they’ll still be by your side long after they are gone. Always make time for the other important people in your life. Don’t be that person who breaks up with their boyfriend and then is suddenly always around. There should be a balance.
6. Compare them.
Even if you’ve been in relationships before, been in love before, fucked tons of people before, you should never compare the person right in front of you with anyone else. Don’t compare your girlfriend to some hot girl at the bar, or your boyfriend to the jacked guy at the gym. No one likes to feel like they’re in competition with someone they don’t even know. You’ll do nothing but make them feel bad about themselves and then they will resent you for it.
7. Forget about them.
We all get sidetracked, we all have friends and family we make time for, we all have jobs that demand our attention. We may be out at the bar with our significant other but spend the majority of the time talking to other people. We might be out somewhere and forget to answer their text. But nothing hurts more in a relationship than being forgotten about, and worse, ignored. Don’t be completely unaware of their presence. It’ll only make them that much more touchy when it comes to you talking to other people. If you care about them, you shouldn’t be forgetting that they’re there.
8. Dismiss any problems.
Even worse is not taking problems seriously with your boy/girlfriend. If they voice their concerns, just listen. Hear their point of view on things and try to come up together with a resolution. Don’t wave it away and wait for it to blow over because it’ll never actually go away, it would just be at the dark corner, waiting for the right time to come back. In fact, those little problems that could’ve been addressed and nipped in the bud will just grow into a tangled, complicated mess and who wants that.
9. Put everything/everyone else first.
When you love someone, that person is usually (and should be) a priority in your life. Just as you become an important priority in theirs. You expect the significance of one another to be reciprocated. But it can be hard watching this important person put other things in front of you. When they hear of something exciting, they call their best friend first. When they find a cool place to go out, they tell their brother. When a crazy story happens to them, they text it in their group chat. They choose their friend’s house party over your sister’s birthday party. You don’t want to just feel important, you want to know you’re important.
10. Snoop.
Snooping is something we all do. We peak at their phone when it’s left open, we go through a mysterious drawer when they leave the room. But snooping can only lead to problems and is something you don't want to end up in. You either get caught, or you’ll find something you don’t want to find. But one thing will always happen: you will come across something that you don’t understand so you misinterpret it, your imagination runs wild, you end up jumping to conclusions and assuming things and in the end, it turns into a fight that never should’ve happened in the first place.
11. Try to change who they are.
You either accept them or leave. That’s it.Simple. There's nothing to it. You should never try to turn someone into what they’re not just to fit the mould of your ideal mate. That my friends don’t exist. So you accept them for who they are or keep walking and probably never meet a guy like him again (especially if comes close to a perfect guy - who doesn't exist).
12. Desensitise yourself to them.
After being with someone for a long time, this can happen real easily. You aren’t as moved when they cry. You don’t feel bad calling them horrible names. You take shots below the belt during minor arguments. You don’t care if they find out something that'll upset or harm them. Your sensitivity to them and their feelings dissipates, they no longer there anymore. And that will never work well in a relationship.
13. Bring up the past.
This is a major NO-NO in an argument. When in a relationship, you should only be focusing on the present, the now with your partner. No matter how brutal a fight might get, you should never bring up an event from the past - do so and its bye - bye to your relationship and you don't want that. You have to just leave it behind, nothing good is going to come out of it. If your boyfriend cheated on you, if your girlfriend did something fucked up that hurt you at one point, you have absolutely no right to bring it up again and use it as ammunition. You have to leave the past where it belongs.There's a reason why it said to not mess or bring anything from the past. If you forgive them for something and you both decide to move on, that means no bringing it back up, no matter how well it might work in your favour at that moment.
14. Holding a grudge/keeping score.
Another thing similar to bringing up the past is holding grudges against each other. Someone in a couple might feel justified to do something immoral just because their boyfriend did something similar before. Or they’ll refuse to do something super special for their birthday just because the other didn’t do it for them this year. There is no such thing as keeping score in a relationship. You cannot base your actions and decisions on past occurrences.
15. Not support them.
You should always have your partner’s back, no matter what. Never bring or shatter down their dreams or goals, no matter how far-fetched or unrealistic they may or can be. You should always be there for them, even if they make a stupid decision - after all, we're just humans, and we make mistakes, even really stupid ones - to help pick them up, attend to them, heal their wounds and support them for whatever they need. You shouldn’t mock them for being wrong. You should never ever make them feel worse about their failings.To always be their rock, their unwavering support system, no matter the situation.
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